Tuesday, January 18, 2011

10:32 PM

Its really true how you can find so many different new things in a book even if you have read it so many times before. At every stage of your life, at every new reading, something you never saw in comes up. Everytime. Its really amazing.

Thanks to the wonders of technology (and phone apps), I have just started re-reading an old favourite of mine. A classic, really, but I don't believe many have read it. If they have, probably not past the first book, because its the most famous, and I won't have known there were sequels if I had not stumbled across them one day so long ago in the library (yes, I used to visit the library very often. I should make it a habit nowadays too).

Anyway, the book I have rediscovered is Anne of Green Gables. And there are 7 more books after that extending her story throughout her life. Its incredible how this one book can immediately cheer me up. I get to see the world through Anne's eyes again, and she is one who can look at almost anything and create a whole world of imagination. Somehow it has freed me from the mundane existence I think I lead now, and helped me to appreciate things much more. She lives in a beautiful countryside, with a brook and a tree just outside her window. I had envied my Swiss buddy for having a green hill as a backyard, but at least I live in Singapore, with its clean streets and greenery everywhere. She appreciates and she loves, and I think I had forgotten how to do that for a while.

I think it was really timely for me to discover these books again, because I had grown so tired of everything, and my issues with work had threatened to overshadow all other aspects of my life. But now I remember that there is so much more to life, to appreciate, to love, to live.

Sunday, January 02, 2011

11:42 PM

Another year has begun. Let all the unhappiness of the past year go with the conclusion of this chapter - let's start with a new slate.

I'm beginning to explore my options once again. From the previous year's desperation to be employed, to having held a "proper" job for one year, I must say the ideals I hold still ring true. I still believe that I can find satisfaction in my work and that there is one job that you can do everyday and not get tired of it. So far, I honestly confess that I have not found it yet. The changes in my portfolio notwithstanding, I don't think I have been stretched in my area of work, in the way that I want. Sometimes I feel that I have to dumb myself down in order to communicate with others at my workplace. That may sound snobbish, but that's who I am. I want to work in an environment that stimulates me to think and grow intellectually, and not just pander to so many other people's needs as if I live to serve them.

I'm not a customer service-type and never will be. I have affirmed this fact for so long, but my attempt to communicate this somehow could not get through to my supervisor. He told me that "sometimes in life, you cannot always get what you want". Maybe so, in terms of how things out of your control might just happen. But I believe you can take control of the aftermath, and that's what I'm going to do. I can't always get what I want in life, but my job is not my whole life. Staying is not the only option. If I can find something else that offers me what I much prefer, why should I stay? He has his point of view, I have mine. If these do not and cannot coincide, then we have reached a parting of ways. No point making myself unhappy in this way.

So any new options, please present to me. Yes, you, the one who still remembers the presence of this blog. :D