Monday, July 27, 2009

10:00 PM

I take back what I just said about not wanting to write. The feeling just struck me.

While so many of my peers have moved onto their next stage in life, I feel like I'm still stuck in limbo. Not only because I don't have a job, but also because I can't seem to see what lies ahead. So what if I get a job? What comes after? The constant refrain - wake up, eat, go work, eat, come home, sleep? Isn't there anything else to life? What happened to our big dreams and ambitions, to travel the world, to become someone famous etc? All swallowed by the reality that is life, huh. And after all, these dreams need money. Or maybe, just maybe, we lack the initiative to go forward, to carve out our own route in life, instead of succumbing to societal pressure and settling down.

I admit, freely, that I am not a brave person. I am scared of the unknown, and while I admire people who step into it with nary a thought, I don't think I can ever have the same amount of courage to do so. To be honest, the thought of having a regular paycheque is enticing in its own way, and I believe I won't mind doing so for at least a few years since I do like some money in the bank. So while I wait for interviews to come, and apply for more jobs, I just hope that whatever comes in the end can, at the end of the day, be something I enjoy. That sounds passive, I agree, but its the best thing I can come up with when I am simply not sure about what path I want to do. Work experience would be a value-add for me at this stage.

Perhaps my calling is somewhere I can't reach as yet. I will just have to wait and see how this week pans out. As the chinese saying goes, 尽人事，听天命。