Monday, July 27, 2009

10:00 PM

I take back what I just said about not wanting to write. The feeling just struck me.

While so many of my peers have moved onto their next stage in life, I feel like I'm still stuck in limbo. Not only because I don't have a job, but also because I can't seem to see what lies ahead. So what if I get a job? What comes after? The constant refrain - wake up, eat, go work, eat, come home, sleep? Isn't there anything else to life? What happened to our big dreams and ambitions, to travel the world, to become someone famous etc? All swallowed by the reality that is life, huh. And after all, these dreams need money. Or maybe, just maybe, we lack the initiative to go forward, to carve out our own route in life, instead of succumbing to societal pressure and settling down.

I admit, freely, that I am not a brave person. I am scared of the unknown, and while I admire people who step into it with nary a thought, I don't think I can ever have the same amount of courage to do so. To be honest, the thought of having a regular paycheque is enticing in its own way, and I believe I won't mind doing so for at least a few years since I do like some money in the bank. So while I wait for interviews to come, and apply for more jobs, I just hope that whatever comes in the end can, at the end of the day, be something I enjoy. That sounds passive, I agree, but its the best thing I can come up with when I am simply not sure about what path I want to do. Work experience would be a value-add for me at this stage.

Perhaps my calling is somewhere I can't reach as yet. I will just have to wait and see how this week pans out. As the chinese saying goes, 尽人事，听天命。

9:57 PM

Felt like updating this blog, but didn't want to write anything, so will post up something emo I wrote. haha.

想

是否别来无恙？
好想问的一句话
却已无法得到回应
曾以为来日方长
谁知转眼世界就变了样

现在的我
还能清晰地听见
你说笑的声音
但我其实好怕
时间会把仅存的这一点也带走

我很好奇
会不会有一天突然发现
已经能把你的缺席当成自然
让想你的时刻减成偶然
笑着说关于你的故事没有丝毫感伤

真的好想知道
是否别来无恙？

© kaykey

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

12:05 AM

Job-hunting sucks. Maybe I'm just being too picky, like how I am towards everything else in life. Granted I'm not as frustrated as some right now, but that may be due to the fact that I am receiving precious little phone calls despite applying for many positions. Rar. Come, jobs, drop from the sky onto my lap NOW.

Saturday, July 11, 2009

12:21 AM

Maybe

Maybe one day I will talk, let it all out of me

Maybe eventually I will tell you what it is like; straddling two worlds, two minds

Maybe words will fail me.

Or they might not, breaking like that of water from a dam

And maybe, just maybe, I will learn to remember, not regret.